And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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