Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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