im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
