If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize