I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
