I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
FUCK WHALES
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
