just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
