This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
