hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
