My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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