dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
