so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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