Screwed.edu
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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