One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
