honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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