i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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