I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
