...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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