u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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