it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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