just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
