if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
