Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
