just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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