Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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