I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
