singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
