she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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