thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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