Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize