Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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