Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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