My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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