I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
