shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
