I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
