I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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