do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
