My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just pee around me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
