can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
