You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
