this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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