I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
