did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
