I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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