either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
