CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
