Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
