Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
