I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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