Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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