dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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