sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
