you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
