i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
