what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
