Do vagina's smell?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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