this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
