6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
