you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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