whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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