New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm too high and old for this...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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