was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
