Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
